Almost Happy
by Celeb Ryu
Summary: Remus thinks about his relationship with Sirius, and Sirius' attitude towards life in general...


Wee…I know I need to work on my multi-chap fics, but I had such inspiration! And I had to get it out of me. I don't own Sirius or Remus, if I did, Sirius would live still! Damn JK…I also don't own the song "Almost Happy", K's choice does. Pretty much, I  don't own jack.  Takes place during OOTP. Remus's POV. Slash, don't like don't read. 

Almost Happy

By, Celeb Ryu

If I could look beyond your face   
And photograph your hidden place,   
Would I find you smiling in the picture

I looked at Sirius, as he sat on the couchr next to the fire, waiting for a call, probably hoping it's Harry. Sometimes I wonder, even if he had his dream, would it be able to make him happy? Is he still capable of it? Sometimes I wonder if Azkaban had sucked such things from him…

And I don't know what you want,   
Because you don't know,   
So what's the point of asking?

I sat down next to him and he turns to look at me, as if he expected something from me. Bah! What can I give him! At one point he obviously wanted freedom, but now, in this prison of a home, which he hates more than Azakaban, he doesn't seem to want anything anymore.

And you're almost happy,   
almost content,   
But your head hurts.

He smiled softly and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me close to him. And for a moment he looked peaceful, before he noticed some trash on the floor and started cursing about Kreager being so "lazy". Damnit! So much for sharing a moment…

Far too many ways to go.   
We learn so much but never know   
Where to look or when we should stop looking.

We had, heck still have, so many options. We've made and will make so many choices. Yet we keep messing things up. Why can't we just have a simple life, others do. Perhaps we aren't looking in the right places, or maybe what we're looking for aren't the right things.

_I can love the whole of you.   
The poetry I stole from you will   
And hide inside my stomach._

Paddy…if you only gave me the chance…I could love all of you! I could make you happy. I know you feel more then you let on…I was cleaning…and I came across some poetry that I assume you wrote, as I doubt Kreager is a poet, and  they were…well beautiful…I kept them…I wish you had shown them to me...shared with me…it kinda makes me sad…maybe that's why I kept them. So I could feel like I actually had a part of you…

_You're almost happy,   
almost content,   
But your head hurts._

I feel you shiver next to me and whisper a small spell, to make the fire grow. You smile and snuggle next to me, before complaining that it was too warm now. It's always something isn't it? I need to learn something more intense then a Partronus, make those dementors pay for what they've done to you.

_It's easy to get lost in you.   
Fall asleep inside of you.   
I want to return to you.   
A reason to be here.   
A reason to be here._

You're such an enigma sometimes…I can get lost trying to figure out, perhaps that's what draws me to you. The only time I even feel like we connect anymore is when I fall asleep next to you after lovemaking. I wish I could give you a reason to stay here. Did you know you were mine?

_No, I don't know what you want,   
Cause you don't know,   
So what's the point of asking?_

I sigh and get up, glancing at you for a second. Maybe I should go home…is that what you want? Do you need me here? Or is not me as much as you need someone to distract you from your past, from this home you tried so desperately to escape for so long? Would you notice if I left? Care? Do you even know? Probably not… Which is why I choose not to ask. Besides, if you do know, it's probably not an answer I want to hear.

_You're almost happy,   
almost content,   
But your head hurts_

I start walking out of the room, watching you from the corner of my eye as a person's face becomes visible in the fire, Harry. I watch as you talk to him, almost animated once more. But it won't last, something will upset you soon I know it. It never fails. You're never content, not long anyways.

_You're almost happy,   
almost content,   
But your head hurts_

And then after a while, pop! Harry's gone. And you sit there, grinning for a few minutes. Maybe I was wrong…But then you get up, mumbling about a headache. Ah…I was right. You're almost happy, but your head hurts. Go figure.

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There we go! A one shot that I actually finished all at once! Shocking isn't it? Anyways Comments and Criticism are both appreciated, as long as they aren't flames. In other words, REVIEW!


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